When Friendships Change, Never To Be the Same Again

We’ve all had them. Long term friendships, and not so long term ones, that are going along great and then suddenly….BAM!…something happens and that friendship changes and is never the same again. Or maybe something has been brewing over time and the day has come that the relationship is forced to adjust. This stands for not only friendships, but any relationship. Every person we are in relations with exists within a multitude of delicate frequencies based on personalities, preferences and perspective. Navigating the emotional tides and storms of two independent, yet interconnected, people can be equal parts thrilling and daunting. Sometimes we know we really do like or love someone, but we don’t like or love their behavior or choices all the time. If their behavior is not a deal breaker to the friendship and we choose to have them in our lives (as opposed to cutting ties and walking away), then the next step is to work through the challenging energy of change within the dynamic of our relationship.

When our friendship goes from being one thing to never being the same again, it has changed. This very word, change, means to be altered and made different, transformed; to have a different position or course, or to be replaced with something else.


Sometimes the shifts are for our growth and are not necessarily, what we might think, for the better. Our friendships transform and are never the same after many different kinds experiences. Perhaps we had an argument, maybe we don’t feel comfortable with their choices and activities, or it could be from a move, marriage, baby, or any other big life change. We no longer have what seemed to be working for us both; a wrench was thrown in the works.

Working through friendships that are morphing is not for the faint hearted. It takes sweat, blood, and tears sometimes to process through a difficult phase in a friendship. Coming through the other side with our friendship still intact is a fine feeling indeed. THAT is when the friendship will never be the same, and why would we want it to be? We have grown. We have worked together. We expanded our consciousness and learned things about ourselves and the world around us. We stretched, and chances are that our friendship is so much stronger and better because of it.

In the midst of the winds of change in our friendships it is helpful if we do a few things consistently. (Yes, we have now reached the bullet-point section of the article, so take note!)

~ Set aside time to talk face to face or on the phone when both of us are calm.

Adrenaline makes us stupid. It really does, go Google it. It puts into fight or flight mode and makes communication emotionally charged and warped because of it. Setting a time to talk allows us to have time to think about what we want to communicate and gives us a chance to work on expressing ourselves as authentically as possible. It also creates less miscommunication because the human touch is involved through voice and/or facial expressions. Sending emails, texts and messages via computer or phone is cause of a ridiculous amount of miscommunication and drama that I’ve noticed. Not to mention, when we are in a highly agitated emotional state, we read the words of text through the eyes of our anger, pain and fear. We easily skew things based on our mood as we are reading. Don’t believe me? The next couple times you read an email or a text and you are angry, go back later and read it when you are calm. I’ve caught myself missing words and phrases entirely because one little thing triggered my anger and adrenaline.

~ State the facts of how we feel without bringing a lot of emotion into it.

This can be a hard one for many of us. We really can speak of our anger without reacting from it. If we have agreed to come together and work towards resolution, then we must give ourselves a chance to each state our position, our feelings, and our ideas for how to resolve any issues between us.

~ Take accountability for our individual participation.

This means knowing and admitting where we each fell short, regardless of whose “fault” we think it is. This also means being accountable for how we will show up in the future or during this time of change and challenge.

~ Acts of kindness

This might seem an unnecessary thing in terms of communication and conflict resolution between friends, but it seals the deal with an element of gratitude and love. Paying it forward, doing something for another, and being in service are all a balm to a tender healing friendship.

I’ve watched many relationships suffer because one or both parties will not focus on resolution or how to get past a difficult time; I have sometimes been this person. I have lost friends that don’t choose IN to being in relationship with me, or those that don’t choose it in a healthy way, or those that don’t agree with my personal boundaries. I’ve watched emotions come into play to a degree that reason and logic are lost, and all parties continue to act on emotion over, and over again into a downward spiral. But I’ve also invested the time and energy to communicate, to learn, and to connect to those I’ve experienced discord with. The relationships that have healed with work on both sides are some of the most beautiful I enjoy being part of.

Try using these techniques in any of your difficult relationships and chances are you may see some energy shifts that can bring about healing and constructive communication between you. Or, if you feel comfortable, communicate clearly to your person in question that this relationship is important to you and you would like to work together in finding solutions, and creating something that is amicable for you both.

May your interactions be filled with heart space energy.


Go Home Fear, You’re Drunk

Excitement has side effects if not properly harnessed; it can turn into nerves which then morph into fear. Have you ever noticed yourself or others laughing too much, blushing and flushing, left speechless or frozen when overly excited or nervous? It’s an uncomfortable and embarrassing by-product of the emotions, thoughts, hormones and chemicals going on the body when someone is subject to elation, thrill, or frenzyMe? I talk too fast and blush too much.

Maybe you can relate to something like performing or speaking in front of others for the first time, or competing in a tournament. You want the experience, you have been preparing for it, you are getting really excited….more excited now….into full blown, “Holy spit, I CAN’T do this,” mode!!

Aaaaaaaaand, in sweeps F E A R.
False Evidence Appearing Real


When we want something, we get excited right? Then that excitement turns into fear and all our excuses and negative feelings start coming up.

We humans are bent on making stories up in our heads, overreacting to things, making amazing assumptions, and convincing ourselves of straight up lies. The lies that we can’t, that we aren’t good enough, smart enough, fast enough. Maybe we don’t even know the lies, it’s just an obscured belief from childhood that keeps playing out subconsciously in our lives that we aren’t this, or can’t do that.

Ok, with that said, I will say that we must appreciate fear. It’s feeling a little picked on at the moment so let us give fear its due appreciation and credit for being a helpful experience on this Earthly life. Fear exists to keep us safe on a primal level; to warn us of impending attack or harm. It boosts adrenaline and creates superhero like power in some cases. Fear is an amazing tool that can be used to keep us alert and educated to be safe in any endeavor, and to let us know when our lives are truly in danger.

Fear gives birth to shame, worthlessness, anger, and more. Fear hides behind these other feelings as well. These are very sneaky feelings. Because they are disguised in some form of fear (they were born from fear, remember) and because fear is often disguised as these other feelings, they get us thinking that we are going to be harmed by that person, or this experience; we think that these other feelings disguised as fear are keeping us safe. It tells us not to do something so we don’t risk making a mistake and a fool of ourselves. It makes us feel safe by justifying our lack of attendance in life experiences that make us overly nervous and shut down, so we avoid things and people altogether. Fear keeps us from having that relationship we so deeply ache for, that we won’t risk even one ounce of our hearts for, because we are afraid of pain.

Life is not meant to be lived stagnantly. Change is happening around us whether we choose to be aware of it or not. It sweeps us up and begs for us to grow within its experience. Are you in? Or are you complacent with letting change make you its plaything?

In or Out, 
It’s Your Choice

If we are in – INtentional. INterested, INformed, INtelligent, and INspired, then we can be badass at anything we want to be badass at! The most badass people that have ever lived, in any timeline, in any culture, in any part of the word, have surely made mistakes and looked a fool while they practiced their badassery. Did they experience fear? Sure thing. But they held onto the excitement of their goals consistently.

When we allow fear to control us, things that make us nervous keep us from showing up fully in our lives and for others. We miss out on beautiful experiences, business contacts, learning opportunities, serving others, and expanding our awareness. The Universe has fewer opportunities to bring us what we truly want and need. Then we get to play victim by feeling shut down, thinking and declaring to the world that life has nothing but crap to give us. Here is a phrase we all must remember.

It is a choice.

How Much Do We Want What We Want?

Aside from brainstorming and daydreaming, I believe that at a great level, we do really want something when we say we want it. But when it’s a big, bad, scary, FEAR based thing that we want….that healthy romantic relationship, the job we have a passion for, that move to another city, to have a fit body, to quit smoking….we sabotage ourselves. We might want it but we don’t want it quite enough to make it happen; that takes 100% commitment and usually involves making significant lifestyle changes and doing deep personal work. Sometimes we never do what we need to do to accomplish our goals and dreams. Sometimes we are addicted to the same old trauma, drama, and illness.

Sometimes though, the process takes time. Years even. Our desire grows until it is strong enough to get to that critical moment when we actually take the steps needed to create what we want. Processing through fears, conditioning, and beliefs can take a long time. Quiet contemplation allows us to get to know the self well enough to recognize if we are growing and evolving slowly, or simply stuck in a pattern.

To have any change, or to have things we want, we have to want it bad enough that it permeates every. fiber. of. our. being! We must want it to a level that gives us strength, hope, and courage, even during our darkest times. The light of our power, the intentions in the heart, and the actions we take shine into our lives to keep us motivated and happy. We are working towards what we want; not every stepping stone is the destination, nor every situation permanent.

Sometimes the journey is the bigger achievement than actually reaching the goal.

So, ask yourselves what you really want, if you are willing to do what it takes to get it, and recognize when your fear is keeping you from living fully and authentically. Take your fear and convert it back to excitement for your life!


The Flip Side of Expectations

“Expectations are premeditated disappointments,” was how my friend put it to me one day. I chuckled at this and I’ve definitely seen how expectations of things and people cause us unnecessary suffering. When I was a teen and young woman, I wanted my birthday every year to go a very specific way; after all, it was my birthday. I’d plan things, hope for things, wish for things, do my best to have a good time, and many times things fell through, I’d spend little time with friends or family, or I’d just have a bad day (think flat tires, losing keys, getting fired, etc.) I have long since worked myself out of birthday expectations, and over the last decade I’ve made it a personal journey to release expectations I have in relationships.

Many things in relationships are challenging that’s for sure. We are subject to the moods, actions, and lifestyles of others while in relationship. Sharing a home with others brings a whole new set of energies to learn to navigate with, or around. Being in relationship with anything, be it your mother, husband, child, friend, cell phone, or car – takes two things to mesh a bit into one. When we combine, we are in relationship of. It’s an energetic exchange.

So, if we are combining then there is a balancing act going on with my part and your part. We each interact, show up, and are part of this relationship, right? So having personal accountability (to explain actions or be responsible for something we took part in) is kind of an essential ingredient to the relationship complexity. You aren’t responsible for me angrily snapping at you, that was my choice. I’m not responsible for you not paying me back the money you owe when we agreed upon, that was your choice. Our own actions, behaviors, and reactions need to be put under the microscope instead of projecting things onto other people as is the wont of the human ego.

My mother has often told me that I’m the only person she knows that works so hard at personal awareness and self growth. I’ve heard similar things from a handful of others over the years as well. This does not mean that I am full of light, love, and kindness all the time, but that I have a desire to overcome the not so pleasant parts of myself. Much of my progress has been slow, some has been quick, but it’s always evolving; always moving. I know the freedom, healing and peace that can come from looking within oneself, and I never stop practicing that. So when I hear that my expectations are “too much” or that I shouldn’t have any, (I don’t appreciate being should on by the way,) I am aware that I have them and how I am feeling is bringing me unnecessary suffering.


Balance, contrasts, and another side of the coin exists in everything. Sometimes having hopes or desires for others to engage with common sense relationship skills and common courtesies is NOT about having too many expectations. To have a desire that those we love will behave in kind, thoughtful ways is NOT about having too many expectations. Nothing has to be 50/50 all the time; if it were, we’d be robots. We fluctuate with life and sometimes we take 20% while giving 80%, but then other times might have us getting 60% while our loved one gets 40%. It’s an exchange of love and energy when we actually move outside of ourselves to reach out to those we are in relationship with. When the status quo is showing the percentages consistently staying stuck in tired patterns, and it is no longer a shared experience of care, thoughtfulness, connection, and respect, then for those of us with big, huge, ginormous hearts……it stings a bit.

Yes, there are probably mystics and guru’s and calm people in the world that don’t let anything get under their skin, at all, ever. They have practiced detachment and freedom from expectations so they are happy in every relationship they have. Well, most of us aren’t there yet. Be patient with us.


Let the Scape Goat Escape

Our perspective of what expectations others may or may not have does not give us license to use them as scape goat to avoid personal accountability for how we actually do show up for others. Before we write off someone else’s experience, take a moment to ask ourselves:

Could I be doing more to show this person I care?
What have I done lately to cultivate this relationship?
What extra effort can I put into connecting with this person?
What kinds of things are important to them?
What might they appreciate from me? It might not be what you would like or might think they would like, so ask!

It’s true that a lot of the time our hurt feelings or irritation is about our expectations and when we have a lot of them that leave us feeling hurt and bitter all the time, or being unkind to others because of it, then it is on us to take accountability for that.

There are few absolutes in the world and this is not one of them; it isn’t always about expectations.

Every one of us has different ways of showing up in relationships. There are a myriad of ways that we show love, communicate, and express our emotions with our loved ones. Some people call, some send meme’s, some send correspondence and cards in the mail, private emails with deep conversation, some send flowers, come visit, run an errand, plan an outing, give little gifts, babysit our kids, or meet for coffee as ways to show up, show care, cultivate and maintain relationships. It takes work to develop and keep relationships alive; it takes ACTION.

Why do we think people get SO happy and emotional when someone goes just a touch out of their way to do something thoughtful? Because we are hungry for more human connection!! Real time. Face to face. Something other than text messages, Tweets, and Facebook posts. Technology is but only one piece of the relationship puzzle, but too many use it as the only means of connecting.

Get real. Connect in more profound ways. Don’t let those you love pull away or even pass away before you look back and realize that you wished you would have done more.

How to Change the World With Our Thoughts

Once it was a bunch of “woo-woo” to think that our thoughts could create our realities. However, science is proving just how powerful our brains really are. The science of epigenetics is proving how the experiences of our grandparents echo into our genes. So if that’s true, it’s not a far cry to think that our thoughts have a lot of power in our day to day lives.

Have you heard of Dr. Emoto? This forward thinking Japanese man performed an experiment with water. He put water in several containers and labeled them with phrases like, “I hate you,” and “I love you.” He also exposed them to different types of uplifting and dark music, prayers and pictures. Microscopically he noticed  the differences in the crystals that formed.
So think about it. The human body is made up of about 60% of water. Are you getting the picture yet? Our thoughts will be doing things like this in our bodies! Negative self talk can make us physically ill.

What Can the Average Person Do?

There is much strife in our world; lots of suffering, it’s true. As an average person in an average 9-5 job, with average finances, how can you possibly change the world? If you don’t have political power or money to burn then it seems like there isn’t much hope that you can do anything.

I often hear people condemning the things going on in the world, but I’m here to tell you that by doing so, you are only adding to the negative energies that exist around them! It might seem silly, might even seem frivolous, but sending love and light to the situation does a lot more to help shift it.

Just by thinking of ending wars will not end them unfortunately. However, instead of adding negativity to them, try sending peaceful thoughts and intentions to the leaders of warring countries. Send love and light to the victims of war. The more focused we are on unity consciousness and sending healing vibrations across the world, the more our world will change. Can you imagine what might happen if each person did this every day?

All thoughts are energy that can be transmitted and received throughout the Earth’s grid. If you doubt this, then keep track of global meditation events and crime rates on those days. You’ll see them drop quite a bit.

I’ve been accused of living in fairy land with my head in the clouds because of beliefs like this, but I’ll tell you what….I’d rather spend my time energetically sending healing and love than worrying and being in fear all the time. We might not have the power to change things over night but we do have the power to change things over time.

The world I picture for future generations looks much different than the one we live in now. Just holding onto a vision of peace can do more than we might think.

Awake You Sleeping Giants!


A life of profound depth is awaiting the end of our shallow slumber. Awake! Awake!

Our spirits are eagerly awaiting our awareness and our arrival. Yet the decision to wake lies solely with each one of us.

Fantasy Art Scenery Facebook Timeline CoverThe spiritual path (not to be confused with a religious one) is one that leads to reality. Not a “higher” reality, just reality. It is known in the metaphysical world that much of our world is an illusion. We take the path within and it strips away the illusions we have that we are separate from each other and from the Earth. It blows up the notion that there is not enough for everyone, and it destroys the lies we tell ourselves of having to fight to have our place in the world. The illusions of humankind are drugs that keep us sedated and robotic. Endless consumerism, technology taking the place of human interaction, the raping of our Earth and her resources, as well as blind obedience to leaders who are ensorcelled by money and power.

Many of us are like millionaires with amnesia, going through life feeling poor, living poorly, and choosing a scarcity mentality when there are riches just within our reach! We are so convinced that we are limited by the mind and body we have that we have forgotten our true selves. Molecules are made up of atoms and subatomic particles. Our bodies are made of these molecules and when we look for the tiniest part of what we are made of, the particles disappear. That is where the quantum field steps in; where life is full of infinite potential. We can trace our bodies back to this field! It contains intelligence, love, creativity and more. Wouldn’t we like to claim our fortunes?

There is magic to wield, spells to cast, and rituals to perform to bring the divine soul up and out into this mundane world. This reality provides all the building blocks of higher vibrations of love and light that can heal ourselves, each other, and the planet.

Tap in.

Tap into the wellspring of ancient knowledge and divinity that resides within.

Then the next time someone tells us the “realities” of something, we can chuckle and know that our reality is much more expansive and powerful with infinite opportunities.



Can We Learn to Live Without This Shadow?


Female Portrait by Hannes Caspar
Female Portrait by Hannes Caspar

The shadow of femininity incorporates the many different types of oppression that the feminine world has experienced for thousands of years. This shadow houses the pain from women being owned, sold, abused, denied, shut out, shushed up, or brushed aside as “too soft” and not worthy.

As women come to light their own inner beacons of passion and love for the world, the shadow of femininity will fade. I speak of the darkness that the female spirit has experienced through the history of this Earth. A new time is dawning for the feminine to rise and step into her power to heal the world with her compassion, nurturing, and intuition.

However, the biggest tragedy of the shadow of a woman is the shadow she creates for herself; the shadow she still clings to. After hundreds of thousands of years of sexual, physical, and political oppression, women are waking up and stepping out. It all sounds great in theory, but until women can embrace themselves and all they are, healing will not happen. Healing families, communities, nations, continents and the entire world cannot happen if healing does not first start within.

  • Are you dragging around your own self-created shadow?
  • Does she haunt your footsteps with feelings of guilt, shame, or lack of self-worth?
  • Can you look at her in the eyes and love her enough to let her go?
  • Can you let your light shine upon her so you are forever free?

It is possible to climb out of the darkness, but we must be willing to love ourselves first and foremost. Speak your truths, stand your ground, set your boundaries, do what you love, listen to your heart and your soul, and do not associate with those who say that you mustn’t, or shouldn’t.

The Light of the Woman gains in strength with each woman that decides to embrace self-love and healing for her life. Let us own our feminine power and walk forward confidently into this new age of feminine grace.

3 Unique Ways to Do Yoga

I believe that yoga is a very gentle, personally powerful, and spiritual thing to take part in. Traditional yoga which dates back before 500 BCE was of physical, mental, and spiritual practices or disciplines from Hinduism and Buddhism. When done in traditional ways with focus on breath within the poses, as well as holding difficult positions, combined with meditation at the end can give you an overall sense of bliss.

Much of modern yoga has eliminated some sacred rituals that take place within a true yogic practice and maybe you’ve taken a class at the gym only to feel that something was missing. Or maybe you don’t know what you are missing by practicing yoga in it’s full form. Either way, there is something to be said about using yoga as a way to go within yourself, know yourself, and heal yourself.

Over the 20 years I have had a home yoga practice I’ve learned just a handful of challenging poses, and I mostly stick with my sun salutation sequences that seem to maintain fitness in my entire body quite well. I have learned to adapt this routine by holding poses longer, deepening them or adding some simple new things to the flow. I have no desire at this time to do headstands or curl up into a pretzel. There is tremendous discipline in that though and I honor those that choose to practice this way, but I love the daily simple maintenance from my yoga practice. Over the years I’ve added my own flavor to my fitness routine that has keep it simple, yet given me some unique creative expression.

I attribute my deep sense of mind/body awareness to my yoga practice. Yoga teaches us to focus on our breath while we hold each pose. By doing this we can feel when our muscles loosen up just enough so we can sink further into the pose. This relaxing of muscles has taught me to listen to my body and to work with it, and it has been especially helpful during my three plus years of a Lyme disease journey.

There are 3 unique ways you can use your yoga practice to get further in touch with not only your body, but your spirit as well.

1. Don’t Try to Control Your Thoughts

Yoga is very meditative, right? So it stands to reason that you would want to quiet your mind. There is a lot of value to having a quiet mind but it is one of the things many people struggle the most with. I have done many a yoga session where my mind just races constantly no matter how much I try to quiet it. While going through poses and stretching your body, act as an observer to your thoughts. Let them all play out. If you’ve had a bad day and you’re angry at your boss, let all those thoughts come through you and out of you as you stretch your muscles. Don’t hang onto any one of them for too long, don’t obsess and by all means don’t judge any of it. Let your thoughts come and go, come and go, come and go. Keep stretching while using your breath and holding poses, but let your mind run. Once you feel sufficiently empty of your worries and your body is loose and relaxed from exercise, then lay down in Corpse pose to float for a few minutes. Relish in the peaceful river that your mind now may be, then sit up in Lotus or Half Lotus to give gratitude up to the powers that be, and set your intentions for the day.

I have worked out many problems on my yoga mat, I have found forgiveness for myself and others there, as well as receiving many answers about my life. I have done angry yoga before and judged myself for not doing it “right” but once I realized that by the end of my workout I wasn’t feeling angry anymore, I figured that this was  perfectly okay.

2. Incorporate Intuitive Movement

First I’d like to say that any time you veer away from specific exercises that you do so very carefully. If you have injuries or are out of shape then take things slowly and LISTEN to your body. There is a difference between moving in a way that is good for your body and moving in ways that put your joints and ligaments at risk.

Turn on some tunes and then use some basic yoga poses to slowly move, sway and dance in. For instance, I flow into and out of Warrior I and Warrior II with the music so it is more of a dance. Once your body connects to the music you may find, with some practice, that your body will tell you where it feels good to go. I often use my sore muscles as a way to direct me into movements that I can feel will stretch them or make them stronger. Consider faster music beats to bump and bounce to while you stretch and love your Earthly vessel.  Movement like this can turn into something very primal and cathartic if you let it.

3. Unity Meditation

This quick meditation will send out vibrations of gratitude and love as you focus on cherishing all the wonderful energy around you while sharing your own light with Heaven and Earth. At the end of your session while you sit in Lotus pose, take all those wonderfully powerful and relaxed feelings you now have and get them moving. Start by taking your arms out to your sides and “scooping” up all the wonderful things in the world while moving your arms up to “scoop” out all the blessings from Heaven/Space/Creation and bring them down into Prayer pose with your hands together at your heart space. Do this twice more while focusing on feeling all the good things that Heaven and Earth have to offer as being something inside of you that you can carry into your day. Then do the reverse. Start with your hands at your heart in Prayer pose and take all of your gifts, abilities and wonderful attributes and give them up to Heaven in gratitude while you reach for the sky. Bring your arms down, imagine sharing all of these things about yourself with the World to finish with your hands again at your heart. Make sure your arms are out as straight as can be and that you feel energy coming out of your fingertips. Do this twice more so you’ve done each exercise three times a piece, then “Namaste,” and close your practice.

Consider using your own creativity to adapt exercises and add some fun to your yoga movement.


4 Powerful Things to Learn From Illness

As I created a family and built a life with my husband of ten years I never expected to be faced with illness so young. I had cleaned up my diet immensely and also got rid of most toxic chemicals in my home, I did yoga consistently and was flourishing. However, my immune system had other plans for me. Once infected by Lyme disease with a tick in my leg, my whole life shifted. I am truly blessed to have the support I needed to go through the healing process, which I’m still in, and luckily my body didn’t degrade as badly as many I have read about who deal with Lyme. During this journey I have met many beautiful people who also deal with physical illness.

It doesn’t matter what physical ailments you are currently experiencing, one thing is pretty much universal – it sucks. But does it have to all the time? Even when one is generally a positive person, the toll that it takes on the mind and spirit when the body is sick is tremendous. Social activities are limited or ceased, time with children is lessened since healing time takes precedence, families often break up over illness, jobs are lost, hobbies are forgotten, and even your physical appearance can tank.

I’ve struggled just as much as the next person with the changes that have happened in my life over the last three years, but I’ve learned so many things through the process as I’ve gone within to search for meaning. I mean, why is this a part of my experience? What are things I need to learn? How is this serving my life; what are the silver linings?

I invite you to consider the following things as you deal with your physical ailments to find some level of peace. I encourage you to explore the effect that emotions have on your physical health and how they can make you sick. Spend some quiet time with yourself or God and be open to the messages you receive about why you might be experiencing what you are.

1. There is Always Healing Support Available

Many people feel they hit dead ends with doctors and practitioners. Thousands of dollars are often spent while looking for someone to help with your health and wellness. I feel that I have a good doctor, research smarts of my own, and wicked intuition but I’ve still spent upwards of $15,000 in my healing journey. When one form of care doesn’t work anymore and all you are doing is maintaining a certain quality, or non-quality of life, then there is always something else you can do to find more healing. Cures? Maybe, maybe not. But there are many different types of holistic, conventional, and energy healers out there to make your journey easier. It does take time, money, and patience to weed through them and decide what is right for you, but don’t give up. The more research you do into how your body works, what it needs, what it is lacking, and what systems need to heal, then the more educated you are on your body AS A WHOLE and the more you can find to help it out.

2. Allow Your Priorities to Shift

There can be lots of anger, resentment, and disappointment wrapped up in being sick when you are missing out on things you used to enjoy. One of the biggest struggles for me was that I couldn’t do my treatments, or rest, AND clean my house most times. A clean house makes me feel organized, complete, and open, whereas a messy one does the opposite. It took about a year but I finally learned that my health and time with my kids were now my priorities. I only had so much energy in my “account” every day and I had to be careful how I spent it. I’ve spent many hours of reading and coloring time with my kids and that is what they will remember of me, not how clean my house was.

As you spend more time caring for yourself, learn to delegate. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! This is hard one for many, but asking for help does not mean you are weak, it means you are human and we ALL need help from time to time. Call upon friends, family, neighbors, and church groups to name a few. Ask your immediate family to be sensitive to the shift in priorities and ask them to pick up a little extra slack when needed.

3. Don’t Stop Living

A friend on Facebook one day commented on one of my posts and she told me that she has never known anyone to work as hard at living so fully while being physically ill. This was fantastic for me to hear. You see, on days I struggle with nausea, weakness, headaches or sensory issues, to name a few, I have been known to be all dressed up out dancing, singing karaoke, going to the park with my family, date nights with my husband, Halloween parties, and more. Granted, some of those times I’m more quiet and sit down more, or I might leave early, but I’m there; I’m there enjoying my life. Be it my stubborn nature or something else, but I simply refused to let this illness keep me from living my life. I have already made sacrifices to account for the healing I need, but it wasn’t going to ruin my fun! I have often had people ask me if I wasn’t pushing myself too hard, or why I do what I do while feeling so crappy. So, for my friend to acknowledge that I was working hard to maintain a quality of life that I liked, it validated me.

Our mental state about our health, or the lack thereof, makes or breaks us. I know that if I allow the dark days to overtake me, I’ll sink into a depression of epic proportions. Not only will this make my body more ill, but it can be really hard to get out of once there. We are all allowed bad days, just don’t unpack and stay there.

Listen to your body, but don’t let it dictate everything. Dealing with symptoms while at a party or a luncheon is not ideal but it is possible. To be honest, I find that when I’m living my life like this, I often get a relief from the symptoms because I’m distracted!

4. Find Your Silver Linings

There are always blessings in even the worst of traumas, we simply must be open to looking for them. Perhaps you never would have met your new best friend if you hadn’t been sick and at that doctors appointment or support group. Maybe you never would have learned about how the body works and how to care for it as well, maybe you never would have known the satisfaction that comes from educating others about disease. A few silver linings of mine include having had more empathy for my mother when she was hit with lymphoma, I am able to relate with a girlfriend who is quite sick when others have accused her of it all being in her head, I wouldn’t have had the many enlightening conversations with family and friends about the importance of gut health, how magnesium and vitamin D deficiencies make us really sick, or how to eat high vibrational healing foods, I have learned to slow down and quit being so busy being busy.

We might all prefer to be completely healed, some of us may reach that goal, and others of us might live our lives out while maintaining as best we can. However, there is a lot power in embracing the situation and working with it instead of against it.